Life just seems to be passing by fairly slowly. I called to speak to my babies and nobody answered. Subsequently I fell apart. I can't imagine the next 10 years of the monthly disappointments in not getting to speak to my children because the aunt doesn't have to do anything she doesn't feel like doing. I hit bottom and wait for the depression to lift so I can get on with my life until I call again.

For the most part I think I remain fairly numb emotionally, it's much easier.

Hope all is going well with my friends and family. God bless all of you.
aafe

The judge didn't terminate my parental rights as we thought she would. DHHS messed up on their timelines to get everything finished by so the judge couldn't terminate or we would have an easy appeal. So instead she gave the aunt permanent custody of my children. I am only allowed to see them in their new home town 4 weekends a year. Even if they come to my town, where their sisters and grandparents live, I am NOT allowed to see them. The four weekends have already been determined and the times will always be from noon until 4:00. I will get to talk to them 15 minutes one time a month. The judge said I was undermining my children's adjustment to their new surroundings. She never said what I was doing, so how will I know if I'm doing it again? The aunt will always be there to oversee the visits and she may terminate them anytime she'd like during each visit. She will not give my children the cards I've sent them. I'm finding it difficult to be glad my rights weren't terminated. I will be allowed to see my children for 32 hours each year, only if the aunt doesn't cut it short. Too tired to continue writing.

aafe

Tomorrow I go back to court again. I feel much better and have a positive attitude. I have been praying and praying that everything gets dismissed.

I saw my babies this past weekend. They were fun and funny. My son seemed to enjoy pushing his aunt's buttons, but I'm not sure she even realized he was pushing her buttons.

I've had a difficult week emotionally, but I've made it through so far.

I'll try to update you tomorrow evening.
aafe